BEAUTY IS A DRAG
Most Drag Queens wish they were Beauty Queens. Often they are over the top in every category: make-up is reminiscent of Tammy Fae Baker during the Jim years, outfits are bejeweled and bedazzled within an inch of their lives, heels are higher than most southern women's hair and attitudes are more surly than Snookie and Lindsey Lohan at a court hearing. In short, they're a rough bunch (in my humble opinion) trying to be beautiful in every way, but failing just a tad. Now, some of my best friends dabble in drag and they are, OF COURSE, left out of this category. I adore them. They're perfect (and, no, this photo is not me or anyone I know. I simply Googled DRAG). Today I'm speaking in drag generalities to prove a point. Staging your home is often like putting on a drag show, or so I've seen. I know, I know, you're still lost. So, the crappy financial state our country means more and more people are selling their homes, and to get the right price many of those sellers are staging them (or polishing the silver, as I like to call it) to make their humble abodes look as good as possible. The reality for many of them, though, is they go too far staging, often scaring away potential customers because of the wrong paint color, over-sized rental furniture, etc. Last night, bored out of my head and cable half-working, I tuned into an episode (well, FOUR EPISODES) of House Hunters on HGTV. This show takes potential buyers through three homes/condos/etc. in search of the place of their dreams. In three of the four episodes last night I was shocked to hear the overly-coached buyers complaining about furniture. People, you're buying a HOUSE, not the contents!! So, this brings me to my incredibly round-about, very gay point. SOFTEN YOUR LOOK. If you think its a bit too much, chances are it probably is. Buyers, clearly, are more picky then they've every been before. Not only are they looking for a bargain, they're looking for a PERFECT bargain. Here are a few hints when staging your home: First and foremost, remove any political or religious paraphernalia as you never know who's walking through your front door and what might offend them. If you choose to paint, use simple, monochromatic earth tones. Nothing bright, nothing RED, nothing that will leave the potential buyer adding up in their head how much it will cost to fix your design mess. Think outside of your box: if you turned a dining room into a home office, put the dining back in the room. If I had the pleasure of working with Tammy Fae or Joan Rivers I would offer the same advice: less is more. Stage a room, walk away from it and come in with fresh eyes. What doesn't work? Take it out! Don't forget, beauty is in the eye of the buyer!
TIME TO COMPLETE TASK: Staging the average house takes a few days.
COST: Depends on what you're looking to stage. Google local furniture stores that rent pieces for staging or hit low-cost design stores like Home Goods, TJ Maxx and Target for fun, inexpensive accessories. You don't have to spend a lot to make a house look like a million bucks!
STRESS LEVEL: if you do it right, LOW
