MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

Open a newspaper, flip on a TV or turn the dial on your radio, it seems like wherever we turn these days the message is clear; times are tough and everyone's trying to save a buck...or, in the case of Bernie Madoff, steal one! This week Bernie's wife, Ruth, was furious when a Manhattan florist dropped her account and refused delivery to her upper east side penthouse, stating that the desperate housewife hadn't paid her $35,000.00 bill in months. Poor Ruth! If I had her email address I'd send her a message with an inexpensive, easy tip: when she finishes her bottle of two buck chuck this morning turn it into something hip! This simple idea will help save her some pennies so she can enjoy a nice meal at Denny's! No need for hysteria, I've got the perfect place to put your wisteria!

GENIUS IN A BOTTLE:

These are so beautiful because they're painted on the INSIDE rather than the out, giving the appearance of vintage depression glass. This is one of the easiest projects to attack and makes great hostess gifts or table decorations for a summer party. I gathered a few cool bottles from olives we'd purchased, jelly jars and old mason jars, cleaned them thoroughly inside and out and headed to Michael's arts and crap store for supplies. For $3.99 I purchased a can of dishwasher safe enamel paint in white and conditioner (I had to ask for help to find). First step: after drying bottle, pour conditioner into bottle and swirl around to cover entire INSIDE. Pour excess back into bucket to reuse. Let dry for one hour. Pour enamel paint into bottle to the top. Let sit for 10 minutes then pour paint back into container and allow bottle to dry upside down for one hour. Because I used different shaded glass jars, my white enamel cast various shades of green.

TIME TO COMPLETE TASK: 3 hours

COST: Enamel paint from Michael's Craft Stores: $3.99

STRESS LEVEL: Taking time to smell the roses in my new bottles: LOW