HAIL TO THE CHIA

As our 44th President met with troops and Iraqi leaders in an old Palace built by Saddam Hussein in Baghdad yesterday, I witnessed a horrifying scene at a CVS in the Crown Palace shopping center in Westchester County...a man in uniform purchasing an Obama Chia Pet as an anniversary gift for his wife! He must have seen the look of terror on my face as he quickly asked for my guidance and opinion. First and foremost, I advised, don't buy your wife an anniversary gift at a drug store! Second...unless you're ch-ch-cheap, don't ever buy a ch-ch-chia pet for anyone! After explaining her love of our new Chief and her green thumb (he thought this was the perfect gift) I realized this misguided General needed some swift direction. He asked, so I told...on a recent search for unique gift ideas I stumbled upon www.monthlyclubs.com, a company that offers monthly memberships and gifts (with a two month minimum order) of flowers, wine, beer, chocolate, cheese or cigars. If you'd like, you can mix them up..one month send flowers (cut fresh and shipped the next day), the next send a bottle of wine, the next cheese, etc. Gifts start at $20.95 (the Chia Pet is $29.99 at Amazon.com) and ship wrapped with gift cards. So, as the wheels of Airforce One hit the tarmac this morning in Washington DC, a General in West Point, New York saved his marriage with a simple click of a mouse! He, too, believed in change!

TIME TO COMPLETE TASK: Orders will arrive on the first of the month.

COST: All memberships have a two month minimum order: Flower of the month: $28.95. Wine of the month $29.95. Beer of the month $20.95. Check out these and more at www.monthlyclubs.com

STRESS LEVEL: Doing my part to avoid war: LOW