BIRDS-EYE VIEW

As happy as I am about our new President-elect and the hope, I believe, it gives our country that things will change, I'm shocked by what remains the same. Why on earth do religious, ignorant fanatics care about what I do behind closed doors? Many of them, in fact, benefit from what we do behind closed doors: without us they wouldn't have the clothes on their backs (some of my best gay friends design for companies like The Gap, Banana Republic, Jockey and Wal*Mart), they wouldn't be able to watch some of their favorite television programs thanks to the talented (and many gay) producers, they wouldn't feel safe flying if it weren't for the care and concern of the flight attendants (yup, lots of them are gay!), dare I mention the nurses they might come face to face with at the local hospital? While they lead with fear and ignorance, we're everywhere, essentially, making their lives better, easier and gay. I never saw the film "A DAY WITHOUT A MEXICAN" (mostly because I'm wildly offended by the title) but imagine a DAY WITHOUT THE GAYS? While I want to flip them the bird, if given the opportunity I'd love to invite them into our home to get a birds-eye view of what really happens behind our closed doors. This weekend, like many, found us close to home doing the same things most Americans do. We went grocery shopping, paid bills, we cleaned our house and Joe (after watching the Barefoot Contessa) violated a Turkey as I video taped the whole thing. Anxiously awaiting the arrival of twenty loved ones to celebrate Thanksgiving in our home, Joe wanted to practice making the perfect Turkey this weekend. After a few short hours we gobbled it up while sipping wine and talking politics! (if you live outside of the state of California (as we do) and don't understand why we're ticked off about Prop 8 or just want to be informed, log on to www.noonprop8.com for more information.)

DON'T BE A TURKEY, BAKE ONE!

Ina Garten (the Barefoot Contessa) had an amazing recipe for a Turkey dinner so we decided to give it a try(if your cable provider offers on-demand programming, watch the FOOD NETWORK'S BAREFOOT CONTESSA). While the initial proposition frightened me, after close examination I realized how wonderful something that frightened me truly was. We purchased a 12 pound turkey, stuffed it with lemons, several cloves of garlic and onions and (in a bowl) mixed together two sticks of butter with rosemary, thyme and salt and pepper. After mixing it together we stuffed it under the skin (rub your hand under the skin first before adding the butter combo) and all over the top. After two hours at 325 degrees, this bird was darn good!

TIME TO COMPLETE TASK: 2 hours, ten minutes

COST: $35.00

STRESS LEVEL: Not flying the coop: LOW