AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

It's Joe's fault, really...no matter how much I tell him I want it, he rarely gives it to me. When he does, I can't get enough! If I don't get it at home what am I supposed to do go out and pay for some cheap tart or twinkie? Last weekend things got hot and I got bothered! Before the National Enquirer leaks the story (or Joe finds the empty plate) I've got to come clean...after giving me the best I've ever had, I still snuck behind his back to get more. From his favorite baking book, BAKING ILLUSTRATED, Joe made the best cake I've ever had in my entire life (and I'm not just saying that because I'm sleeping with him). I've been around the block (and stopped in every bakery along the way) and I've never, ever had anything this delicious! So good, in fact, after Joe fell asleep many nights this week I headed downstairs to sneak a bite..or two..or three. If you've been inside Betty Crocker's box you know it isn't that great! Try this completely homemade recipe and you'll never go back! Now off to Jenny Craig....after one more bite!

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!

Even if you don't cheat now, print this one..once you start, you won't be able to stop baking (click on the title above "an affair to remember" and print individual blog page...to avoid printing 121 mindless "tips"). It's time to think outside the store-bought box..this is entirely homemade. While I can't take the credit at all for making this cake, I did watch the process (while reading the gossip rags, of course!) and I will, finally, take the blame for eating most of it. There are two separate recipes here: one for the cake and one for the frosting. Straight from the pages of "Baking Illustrated"...

YELLOW LAYER CAKE:

1 3/4 cups (7 ounces) plain cake flour, sifted, plus more for dusting the pans.

4 Large eggs at room temperature

1/2 cup whole milk at room temp

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups (10 1/2 ounces) sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

16 tablespoons (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened but still cool, cut into 16 pieces.

Frosting (recipe follows)

1.) Adjust the oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 350. Generously grease two 9" round cake pans and cover the bottoms with rounds of parchment or waxed paper. Grease the parchment rounds and dust the cake pans with flour, tapping out excess.

2.) Beat eggs, milk and vanilla with fork in a small bowl; measure out 1 cup of this mixture and set aside. Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in the bowl of a standing mixer. Beat the mixture at the lowest speed to blend, about 30 seconds. With the mixer still running at lowest speed, add the butter 1 piece at a time; mix until the butter and flour begin to clump together and look sandy and pebbly, with pieces about the size of peas, 30-40 seconds after the butter is added. Add the reserved 1 cup of egg mixture and mix at the lowest speed, 5-10 seconds. Increase speed to medium-high and beat until light and fluffy, about 1 minute. Add the remaining egg mixture (about 1/2 cup) in a slow, steady stream. Stop mixer and scrape the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Beat at medium high speed until batter looks slightly curdled, about 15 seconds. Take deep breath..you're almost there!

3.) Divide the batter equally between the prepared cake pans. Bake until the cake tops are light gold and a toothpick comes out clean, about 20-25 minutes). Cool for ten minutes on a wire rack. Invert one cake onto plate, remove parchment paper and re invert onto wire rack..repeat with second cake. Cool before icing.

RICH VANILLA BUTTER CREAM FROSTING:

4 Large Eggs

1 Cup (7 ounces) sugar

2 Teaspoons vanilla extract

pinch salt

1 Pound (4 sticks) unsalted butter, softened but still cool, each stick cut into quarters.

1.) Combine the eggs, sugar, vanilla and salt into the bowl of a standing mixer. Place the bowl over a pan of simmering water (do not let the bottom of the bowl touch the water) Whisking gently but constantly, heat the mixture until it is thin and foamy and registers 160 degrees on an instant read-thermometer.

2.) Beat the egg mixture at Medium-high speed until light, airy and cooled to room temp, about 5 minutes. Reduce the speed to medium and add the butter, one piece at a time. (It may look curdled but will smooth out as you add more butter) Once all the butter is added, increase the speed to high and beat 1 minute until light, fluffy and thoroughly combined.

TIME TO COMPLETE TASK: Less than 1 hour

COST: Under $20.00

STRESS LEVEL: Eating something sweet and delicious: LOW lying about it: HIGH