OATH OF (A CLEAN) OFFICE

To the lovely woman who sent me the photo above after my last posting, please place your left hand on a House Beautiful Magazine, raise your right hand and repeat after me: "I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute Paul Hecht's tips in my filthy office, and I will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend its cleanliness for us." From the sweet land of liberty somewhere in upstate New York a lovely woman sits in a fine mess. To you, Mary...oh Mary...I promise to deliver change you can believe in and promise you won't have to cash in your 401K to pay for it! I am humbled by the task you've presented me, grateful for the trust you have bestowed in my abilities, and have faith that you can make it happen. Now, let's be brave! While I have 44 things I'd do to your office, we'll start with the small stuff. God Bless you and your mess! Now get to work!

GOD BLESS IT!

I don't mean to embarrass you by posting your photo, Mary, but you sent it so I'm assuming you need help. Well, from the looks of things you DO need help (if you can't see the photo, click on it to enlarge!). Now, Mary. Take a deep breath and follow a few easy tips.

1.) The Chair: Humm....looks like you've been dealing with that nonsense for eight years, Mary. Get rid of it! Target has fantastic office chairs for under $50. You mentioned you loved the color of the chair so take a swatch of the fabric (looks like it's already dangling off the side) and head to the Home Depot where they will match it for you. Paint the wall behind your desk that color and get rid of the shelf. A shelf is merely a place for you to display your junk. GET. RID. OF. IT!

2.) West Elm has a fantastic sale going on now at http://www.westelm.com/ with desk organizers for as low as $6.99 and file cabinets for as low as $19.99. If you can't afford a new file cabinet purchase a can of appliance spray paint (I'd do white or black) and spray paint that puppy to give it an updated look.

3.) place the file cabinet behind the desk, next to you so you can access it.

4.) Organize desktop items in great new west elm desktop drawers and file folders. Anything you aren't using this week PUT AWAY.

5.) Pick the corkboard up off the floor, hang in to the left of your desk and staple three separate, different colored file folders to it one on top of the other, an inch apart. Label, "Today", "Bills", "This Month" and everything else goes in a file cabinet.

6.) Take picture and send it to me no later than one week from today. I want to see change, Mary!

TIME TO COMPLETE TASK: One day to clean, organize and paint

COST: can of paint : $18.99, organizational items at http://www.westelm.com/ start @ $6.99

STRESS LEVEL: If you don't screw up the Oath: LOW